I sincerely hope that this letter makes it through your letter-reading department and actually reaches you. Having reached celebrity status myself a while ago, and being used to being treated like a VIP (Very Important Parrot), I know what it feels like to be watched constantly and closely.
I also realize that you're not anywhere close to be in my league when it comes to stardom, but nevertheless I have been following your progress. I decided to write to you now, after all the silly fuss that started because of your new music video 'Wrecking Ball'. In that video, you are sitting naked on a big metal ball that's hanging from a chain and licking a wrecking hammer.
We have many things in common and in this letter I will address a few of them. I'm sure you'll agree on every single one of them.
One. You like to be naked. Well .. tell you what, so do I! My mommy and daddy keep trying to put clothes on me, but I hate it! They have this weird harness thing that they try to put on me. I think it's because they don't want me to leave the nest just yet. They have some kind of sturdy string tied to it, and they keep holding on to the other end of it. But in the end, they always take it off again. So yeah, most of the time I'm butt-naked! And I love it! Don't you love the feeling of freedom that it gives?
Two. Apparently you like to wreck things. Hey hey hey! I know that one! I'm not sure what your thing is, but I like to wreck all kinds. I like shredding paper, I like chewing on leather till it breaks, I LOVE little plastic objects and I have this uncontrollable urge to chew on small cables and wires. Especially that last one seems to upset my humans time and time again.
Four. We're both still young and discovering life and everything that it has to offer. With that comes experimenting to see what works and what doesn't. Your recent actions, like the VMA thing and your new music video, are all just about trying something new, right? I know what you mean, and I can tell you that I experiment all the time! I try new sounds, words and tricks all the time!
Five. You like to lick stuff. Again, you're a female to my heart! In that music video, you seem to like licking a big metal object on a wooden stick. Isn't it wonderful to lick things? I do it all the time! I chew on things, I lick things, I roll them around in my beak ... doesn't matter what it is! Don't you love the different tastes that are out there in the world?
I could go on and on, but in the end it all comes down to the same thing. I hear ya! I fully agree with everything you do and I support you! Don't listen to what the world thinks! Keep doing your own thing, and eventually you will get the recognition you are working so hard for.
If you ever want to get together over some orange juice and a nice bowl of fresh fruit to chat about these things, just have your people call my people and we'll set it up. Take care, dear Miley, and keep up the good work!
The Warmest of Regards,